Strong Woman Chronicles

Underneath it All it's a Yes!

Oriah Mountain Dreamer wrote the prose poem, The Invitation one night after returning home from a party. She didn’t usually attend gatherings like this but on this occasion, berating herself for being anti-social, she made an effort to go and be friendly. She returned home feeling frustrated, dissatisfied with the superficial level of the social interaction at the party. She longed for something else.

Using this form she sat down and wrote The Invitation as an expression of all the things she really did want to know about and share with others. Several days later she included the poem in a newsletter she was sending to men and women who had come to do retreats and workshops with her. And from there, the poem took on a life of its own.

People copied and shared it with friends and colleagues around the world, posting it on the internet, workplace bulletin boards and kitchen refrigerators. They read it at weddings and funerals, at conferences and gatherings in churches and boardrooms and universities.

She began to hear from folks from all over the world-from Romania, Iceland, South Africa, New Zealand, Russia and from all over the United States and Canada. Oriah couldn’t believe how many people felt touched by the longing for deeper intimacy expressed in the poem.

Although there are stories of Native American ancestors in her family history (along with stories of German and Scottish descent) she is neither old enough nor wise enough to claim to be an elder of any people.

As she wrote in the beginning of the book The Invitation is “. . . a declaration of intent, a map into the longing of the soul, the desire to live passionately, face-to-face with ourselves and skin-to-skin with the world.” It is the story of a very human woman who longs to live fully awake. It is the story of the human heart’s capacity and longing to live intimately with all of it-the joy and the sorrow, the hope and the fear.

Over the past month I've received several emails from friends, colleagues, people I have just met and they've been saying the same thing, 'Danusia you don't do things by halves do you!' ~ and that's why I adore the essence of Oriah Mountain Dreamer's Invitation to us all to live at our most fully alive and awake Self.

I say a big YES to her invitation - how about you?

Number 1 South Pole Item

Forward planning by several months here folks ~~~~ I've a question for you. It goes like this:

If you were going to the South Pole, what’s the ONE item you’d have to take?

Email to let me know your ideas. I'll publish them here as soon as I can.

Yours in anticipation,

Danusia

xxx

Lessons from Harry Potter

This weekend my three youngest children snuggled together on the sofa to watch the latest Harry Potter film. Harriet, eldest of the three, wasn't in the least bit bothered to re-watch it ~ in fact, I'd bet my granny's hat this particular DVD will be a firm favourite to be watched time and again.

Which will be no hardship.

J.K. Rowling's characters offer us deep wisdom, if we are open to it. I share two of Dumbledore's insights

"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light"

What I like about these quotes is how both remind me that choice is at the heart of life. When relationships flounder, work grinds to a halt, illness hits & situation upon situation collapses - we humans really do have the capacity to choose how we respond.

Boy, can it feel like the opposite.

Take, as an example, my friend Sybyl. In one fortnight, she discovered her unborn baby was suffering inoperable health problems [she chose a termination], three of her neighbours died suddenly, and her mother passed away following a short yet fierce illness.

You'd be forgiven for thinking she was at the edge of what she could take. And yes, she's one devastated woman right now.

But what I've been struck by is the awesome way she chooses to focus on the learning from all her experiences of the past weeks. She talks of the wonderful nurses who cared for her in hospital & the fun she shared with her father as they sat beside her Mum in those last days.

Then there's the habit she's caught from her Mum [who couldn't talk at the end] - her Mum could make a fist action as a 'Go-Get-Em' response to life.

Sybyl throws a fist in the air often these days ~ it's not only a way of feeling closer to her Mum's energy but also as a symbol of what she is choosing in Life right now.

Work, Women & Success

What does SUCCESS mean to women ... and how is it different from what it means to men?

Melbourne-based businesswoman and close pal of mine, Pollyanna Lenkic, explores what's up in "Women & Success: 'This isn't a chick thing"

Take a look at Pollyanna's survey findings on what we women call success - makes for fascinating reading.  Her results show women in organizations are throwing down the gauntlet in a host of ways.

Let me know what you think, won't you!

FREE resource for Small Business Owners, 1

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What the *%$^ !

I laughed the other day when someone asked me how many ‘porters’ and ‘huskies’ I’ve allocated to me for the South Pole journey. Of course the answer is none. It’ll be my sled and all my kit pulled along by - you’ve guessed it - me and my hauling harness.

My sled weighs approximately 50/55 kg which pretty well matches my own body weight. I’m told during any expedition, explorers can expect to lose about 10% of their body weight, depending on the length of the adventure. I can think of faster and less arduous ways of shedding a few pounds - suffice to say, losing weight is not high on my mind.

In order to be fit enough to pull my sledge I will be following a fitness regime that will intensify as the expedition gets closer. This month so far my training has amounted to clicking on my keyboard, lifting my wine glass, & exercising my lungs laughing.

I've allowed myself to go AWOL from fitness and it's time to return to pulling my tyre in the Cotswolds lanes near my home; walking; attending regular gym sessions; weight training; pool running; and thrashing myself at a variety of classes with great names like Butts & Thighs, Power-Bar, Super-Sculpt and the like. My task this year then is to increase stamina & strength and to boost my ability to endure loathsome [I mean demanding] conditions.

Getting fit is one thing – maybe worse, is leaving my children for more than a month over Christmas. This will be a hard and early hurdle for me to make. Christmas 2005 was tough enough - as we dressed the tree, opened presents, ate Christmas dinner and later put all decorations away, we acknowledged I won’t be present this year. It was as if ‘my absence’ in Christmas 2006 was already present at the last one.

My children, especially the eldest 5 who are old enough to let me know what they think of my plans, support my journey to the South Pole. They are scared something awful will happen to me and at the same time know this is something I must go and do.

To add to all this, I am married to a military officer and he'll be away on operational tour 7,000 miles from the UK while I'm walking to the South Pole – he is not certain yet that he can return home for Christmas 2006. I am left wondering what will happen to our seven children -who will care for them?

Confessions of a Self Saboteur, Part 1

Last week, in the middle of an email, a client popped this comment in amongst an update on what she’s been up to…

“Don’t think I told you I’m going to pose naked for a health magazine – thought it might shift something about being seen”

See why it hit me between the eyes?

Not because she plans on posing nude – nah...

The lengths she’ll go to breakthrough her lifetime habit of hiding her brilliance is what stunned me. Fleur – not her real name you understand – has a robust track record in a score of creative and business arenas – put bluntly she’s an over accomplisher by many people’s standards, whatever that means!

None of that matters to Fleur because she has been dogged, for years, by her fear of ‘being seen’ and the even deeper obstacle of her fear of success.

Her remarkable & bold step of sharing her nude self in a magazine is one way for her to explore giving up her hiding places and her hiding strategies.

Fleur got me thinking.

I’ve long-held the belief that people fall into two camps – those who fear failure and those who fear success. Of course, there’s no reason why there aren’t people who fear both at the same time. I’m a consummate failing expert – that is if you subscribe to the idea of failure. Instead, I think of 'failing' as opportunities for growth & learning.

Fact is I fail lots in life. Since I’m bound to do this, I don’t avoid it. On the other hand, where success is concerned - well yes - I’ve had my fair share of that too.

Yet, feel free to call me a slow learner but during pregnancy number 6 or was it number 7…..I wised up to one of my 'little tricks' to hold myself back in life.

Whenever the success of my dreams has been about to land in my lap [following a good deal of vision, focus, hard work and support from people around me] I’ve made sure I throw something right in front of myself [literally] ~ no great surprise here then. I manage to hold off, re-divert, or even stop success coming to me.

Urgent broodiness has struck me at the most inopportune moments – when I won a place at the Italia Conti Stage School; in the first year of my PhD –I could go on for many minutes about the countless chances I’ve had to step centre stage and I’ve chosen pregnancy as a means of stepping into the wings of my very own life.

Don’t get me wrong each and every child of mine was, and is, wanted and loved. It’s just that I ‘clocked’ how I translated my terror of success into a focus on ‘having another baby’.

I kept a lid on myself because this was safer than being known with the risk of me being exposed and somehow shamed.

How did I get over my own terror of being successful, ‘seen’ and yes even exposed buck naked? Tune into my next blog entry and I’ll tell you.

Bye Bye Boob & Black-Eyes

Being a full-busted runner and regular gym girl, I just couldn’t be without my hold-em-down-tight brassiere – it’s a godsend.

Promise I’m not on commission, an affiliate, or on any financial kickback from this company –  had to share this with you all – made me grin!

We Dare be Bold

Weathering

Literally thin skinned, I suppose, my face
catches the wind off the snow-line and flushes
with a flush that will never wholly settle. Well:
that was a metropolitan vanity,
wanting to look young forever, to pass.

I was never a pre-Raphaelite beauty,
nor anything but pretty enough to satisfy
men who need to be seen with passable women.
But now that I am in love with a place
which doesn’t care how I look or if I’m happy,

happy is how I look and that’s all.
My hair will turn grey in any case.
My nails chip and flake, my waist thickens,
and the years work all their usual changes.
If my face is to be weather beaten as well

that’s little enough lost, a fair bargain
for a year among lakes and fells, when simply
to look out of my window at the high pass
makes me indifferent to mirrors and to what
my soul may wear over its new complexion.

Fleur Adcock

Chief Family Officer

Today I've been clicking through the Yummy Mummy Careers website viewing all the north American family-friendly companies that are looking to hire mums. Sarah Fowles, started the site, free to mums, to help mothers balance career and family. The site explains, "Yummy Mummy Careers is about maintaining a healthy balance in all areas of your life. Whether you are re-assessing your career opportunities, looking for a position with a more flexible schedule or bringing your special talents back into the workforce, Yummy Mummy Careers is here to support and assist with your career goals’

Mums build a profile, post a resume, and browse for jobs. Employers use the site to search for candidates. Most jobs that I saw seem great for mamas who want to jump back into the workforce. The site is attractive, informative, and intuitive. Thinking about heading back to work? Had enough of Dora the Explorer? Then check out Yummy Mummy.

Oh and one last thing, I've asked Sarah if she's planning on bringing Yummy Mummy Careers across the pond - I'll let you know what she says!