Strong Woman Chronicles

The Art of Re-Framing

One of life’s most useful skills is being able to see the same issue in a variety of ways. In the coaching world it’s called ‘Perspectives’ in which clients find a range of stances available to them when considering any one area.

Take, for instance, the sex toy retailer who recently decided against sponsoring me to take one of their products to the South Pole. One of my perspectives on this today is called: Their Loss. From this place I am in touch with my disappointment at their lack of shared vision with me & I still feel optimistic about finding a sponsor. My body is upright and I’ve a sense of hope.

Another perspective I’m holding [at the same time] is called: What’s the Point? From here, my body slumps, I lose certainty about what the devil all this is for and frankly I wonder whether a month in the Caribbean is preferable than my search for a corporate ‘backer’.

Oh and then there’s other perspectives I have on this whole sponsorship thing today called Onwards & Upwards; Look after Myself; & Oprah Meets Maggie Thatcher.

That last one is fun because I access Thatcher’s resolve [think steeliness, focus] and Oprah’s open heart [her generosity blended with fairness] ~ means I feel solid as an oak.

The wonderful thing is with perspectives we can ‘try-on’ whichever one we choose – the capacity to change to another one to see what that brings is always possible too. Finally, thanks to Lisa Maria Thomas, an amazing makeup artist who sent me this quote by Jack Handy:

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink, I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.

Who Lives in a Life like This?

I’ve been quiet for almost a month, bar a quick post yesterday. That’s rare. I thought I’d let you into what I’ve been up to. It’s a mish-mash of big-tiny leaps and maxi-micro steps towards an intentional life I am proud of.

Here’s what my month has included:

1. Procrastinating over how to raise 100k for the South Pole trip - I need 25k to get me there, the rest is for charity. Progress since then: After a very hopeful start, one leading sex toy & lingerie retailer declined to sponsor me to take a vibrator to the South Pole. I’m in the process of taking this idea to other leading players in this arena and remain buoyant, if not orgasmic, they'll see this PR opportunity for what it is.
2. Agonising over not being in the ‘zone’ to train ~ mentally ~ then waiting for this mind set to shift ~ forcing never helps, I find. Progress since then: Exhilaration after a 10 k run followed by a minor bout of pleurisy and now I’m eager to run like the wind &  to lift weights to shape my batwings. The body though is telling me it has other ideas. I pray they will start speaking to each other soon.
3. Enjoying five and a half days on my own, by the sea, on holiday without booking anywhere to stay ~ first spell alone, ever in my life ~ Progress: Bliss. Time to reflect on what is true, what I need, who I am and what I stand for ~ Highly recommended!
4. Being ‘headhunted’ to coach the CIO [Chief Investment Officer] of a super-league Finance company – jumping through more hoops than an Olympic athlete might. Progress: a politics-rich scenario, my gut told me was one to watch carefully. In the end the contract went elsewhere ~ whew. If there’s one big lesson I’ve learned it’s to step away from games-playing business. Meanwhile, I look forward to coaching Ambassadors & Diplomats ~ thanks to the Foreign Office.
5. Applying to join the panel of top TV show, ‘Loose Women’ ~ video & detailed application sent ~Progress: no news is good news, maybe?
6. Leading endless meetings with Company Directors who seem to sit along a continuum from mildly-interested to wildly-into hiring me. Progress: Great connections made here ~ oh and I never do business with City types glugging 3 bottles of red wine at tea-time while talking business. Their decision making is marred and I can’t be sure they truly value what I can bring. Really happens, folks.
7. Driving to the best warehouse packed with the high street goodies at knockdown prices. Progress: lots of yummy candles, and gorgeous home-ware sitting in my home.
8. Partying and eating with friends ~ including Jack, number 3 son [did I mention they have numbers?] ~ Progress: freedom, lightness, bags under the eyes.
9. Kick-starting a relationship audit ~ from closest relationships; clients through to each and every connection I have. Progress: My wonderful friend, Ali differentiates between soul suckers and those who feed the soul. Put bluntly, that’s what I’m looking at. How about you? When was the last time you took a look at the people you have in your life?
10. Re-jigging my written Vision Story ~ Progress: I’m getting clearer on the shape of the life I want. Sure it changes as I change and that’s the fun of it. It’s alive and informs my daily practice. Watch out for an announcement for Vision Story Seminars for Strong Women in the coming months!
11. Being hired by an extraordinary woman ~ at the top her business game, a delighted mum of a toddler yet she wants to review where she now puts her energy, talents & heart. Progress: Large grins.
12. Researching if I can wear contact lens at The Ice ~ will they freeze onto my cornea? Progress: I’ve discovered Gary Rolfe, Arctic Explorer who says he ‘wears disposable contact lenses, glasses just freeze to my face. A week’s supply are kept thawed next to my body, the rest lay frozen on the sled’.

Luxury is a Mind Thing

A while back I asked what you readers would suggest I take to the South Pole. As supplies are limited I’ll be hard pressed to fit too many luxury items onto my sled.

Many thanks to those of you who took the time to ponder this one... in my next entry I’ll explain how I’ve been trying to secure the ONE item I really want to take to the Ice.

Folks, drum rolls….here’s what you said:

1. Eyebrow Tweezers – for those pesky facial hairs that will gather layers of ice and snow. Well yes, that’s quite a thought. For a while now I’ve been a client of the Eyebrow Queen, Vashaily Patel, [link] who keeps the fuzz on my face down nicely. A swift visit to her for one her Youch threading sessions should do the trick.
2. A Picture of my Children to remind me why I am a Strong Woman in the first place. Great one ~ one of the ways I sustain training and will keep focus on the walk is to repeat over and over the names of my children. Imagine: Freddie, George, Jack, Tom, Harriet, Isadora, Meredith….Meredith, Isadora, Harriet, Tom, Jack, George, Freddie,…Freddie, George, Jack, Tom, Harriet, Isadora, Meredith. Will I come back sane?
3. Kleenex – I hear stories that it’s best not to cry in -30 to -50 conditions. Tissues don’t stand a chance of being used to mop salty drops because they freeze on the face. Picture crusting eyes, thick frozen streaks ~ guess my stiff upper lip will have to see me through.
4. My friend Danusia - For laughs, hugs, long chats, encouragement, strength and moments of madness. Well what can I say other than I too can’t think of a better person to take with me to the South Pole. Wherever I go, funny thing she seems to follow me.
5. Hotwater bottle – boy, a ‘hotty’ would be good to have out there. Problem is, hot running water isn’t something found on the wayside of this walk. Dig snow, fire up burner, melt & pour into the bottle ~ maybe an hour job, maybe more. Frozen lump within minutes, I’m guessing.
6. Lip salve – a lifesaver for the lips, for sure. I need to research whether this works in the environment.
7. Champagne – please God let this happen. Enough said.