Strong Woman Chronicles

Big Grin Goals are Best

I wouldn’t blame you if you are thinking,

Why should I care if you get to the South Pole over Christmas?

I’ll tell you. The expedition will be no holiday, no recuperation, no rest – still, that’s my choice, right? I could, after all, go for a bikini-rest on a beach instead. Wouldn’t take me to the ‘edge of myself’ and more importantly, that wouldn’t make a difference to other people’s lives. And here’s the biggest reason why I want you to be interested in this expedition: I intend to raise minimum £100,000 for the charity Make-A-Wish Foundation. No joke. My gremlin is bawling in my ear 'Under-promise and over-deliver' you twerp!

The Make-A-Wish Foundation in this country aims to grant the wishes of children aged 3 to 18, living with life-threatening illnesses. A wish granted is utter magic for the child and provides happy memories for the family when, perhaps, time finally runs out.

Originally formed in 1986 after a little boy, Christopher, realised his wish to become a police officer for the day, the foundation has now granted more than 97,000 wishes to children with life threatening illnesses across the globe. Today a child enjoys a Make-A-Wish experience at the rate of one wish per hour every day around the world. Through a wish, the most incredible dreams come true. The money raised by my South Pole expedition will mean more wishes will be granted replacing pain and heartbreak caused by a child’s illness with laughter and joy. Take a look at the Foundation’s work on http://www.make-a-wish.org.uk/

The charity allows children to test the boundaries of their imagination when selecting a wish. Most wishes fall into one of four categories:

I wish to visit           I wish to meet
I wish to be             I wish to own

One true example of a wish granted is about James who dearly wanted to swim with dolphins – he was thrilled when he was told this would be possible. However, his condition deteriorated so the wish-granting team instead granted his second wish – a laptop computer, digital camera & printer. James and his family had a wonderful day transported by limousine followed by a meal in the Rainforest Café.

When James arrived home he found the computer equipment waiting for him. His face was a picture. He sat propped up in bed playing with his computer, taking pictures of his friends – although their visits had to be no more than 5 minutes long as he didn’t have energy for more time with them – he adored looking at their photos over and over. James died in Oct 2002 and his mother says, ‘Life will never be the same without James – we are so grateful to Make-A-Wish for bringing him happiness in his last weeks of life’.

During my own life, my brother Robin died of Cystic Fibrosis before he was 40; my third son was diagnosed with Leukaemia aged 4 and amazingly re-diagnosed later with Coeliac Disease instead; and most recently my baby daughter Madeline’s heart stopped in mid-term pregnancy. These experiences help me guess the amazing impact of the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

Hey guys, what's a few weeks freezing my baps off when the money will help so many kids?

You ARE Mad then?

Almost certainly! It started back in 2005. I just knew it was time for me to do something stretching – not just a bit challenging – but something that would scare the pants off me. Something big & something that might change my perspective on life, radically; something, also, that would make a difference to others and would mean someone’s life would be enhanced.

I didn’t search for the something – it found me. I met Fiona Thornewill, Polar Explorer extraordinaire & World Record Holder seen here pulling her tyre - we did the usual woman kind of thing, we met for tea and chats.

Before I knew it, I was somehow on a small team headed for the South Pole to celebrate the centenary of Ernest Shackleton’s Unfinished Journey.

What’s the Unfinished Journey ?

Shackleton, as you may know, is famed for turning back from his expedition crossing the South Polar continent from sea to sea. – his decision meant he saved the lives of his crew. And it meant he didn’t complete his journey, which was his life-long dream. People, and their lives, mattered more to him than proving himself.

From December 15^th 2006 a small team of us will complete the journey Shackleton began one hundred years ago – beginning at the point where he turned back, we will haul our sledges in the ice and snow until we reach the South Pole. We will honour the heroic efforts of this awesome leader and polar explorer.

Three Things to Handle

The closer I get to expressing myself fully and living the life of my soul's yearning as if by magic, 3 things happen:

1. Temptations arrive to distract me from the direction I have decided to take - for instance, an awesome full-time consultant post  has been sent to me by no less than four people. Sure, I fit the bill. It could have been written with me in mind. Wonderful salary, ideal location, skin-tight fit with my experience. Just one thing - a teensy little detail - I don't want the darned job. I am set, more like excited, to launch Strong Woman Salon in 2006. I'm developing the Strong Woman TV series [more on that later] and a host of services for Strong Women in the World. I know where I'm going and it isn't into that alluring [and easier] future.

2. Surprises happen that alter my plans. In the last week, for example, my husband learned he will be out of the UK for between 5-8 months. For any family this would have big impact - for me it brings enormous choices too. I am due to leave on a South Pole expedition in mid-December. My husband was going to 'hold the fort' in my absence for more than a month. Will this Strong Woman give up her place on the team? If not, who will care for my children?

3. Fear gets in my way. It is a deeply courageous act to live fully, to express myself, to stand in my knowing, and to feel my power, especially as a woman. As I dare to be myself fully, fear rises. The more connected I am with myself, the more I am a a force to be reckoned with. The amount of my fear matches my daring - stepping into terrifying territories in my Life right now, my fears try to take up more space. As I write the treatment for two - not even one - TV series, my fear will have me believe I am a no-one, that I must be silent, and that I will be exposed and damaged by my ridiculous plans. I am having none of it - did you hear me shout that? - instead I simply notice that yes, I really am on the right path. I go clean up my messy pants [a girl has 'accidents' when she's stricken with fear] and I take another step.

Temptations, Surprises or Fear - which one is alive in your Life right now? Let me know how you deal with it!

Bestselling Book lets Women Down

I’ve been reading ‘Yes Man: The Amazing Tale Of What Happens When You Decide To say...YES’ by Danny Wallace. Danny spends his life saying No to parties, No to opportunities, and No to Himself. Dumped by his girlfriend, his life is dullsville. When he meets a man on a late-night London bus his world changes - this mystery man simply tells Danny the secret to happiness is to ’Say Yes More’.

Danny starts his Yes-mission immediately. Yes, he wins the lottery; yes, he travels the globe; yes he meets a whole variety of unusual characters; yes, he goes to the boring co-worker's party and winds up meeting a BBC exec who makes him a TV documentary star; and yes, it all comes off very believable and human.

I love the idea behind YES MAN. It's a laugh out loud romp of an ordinary British bloke whose life transforms by letting life sweep him wherever it does. Funny as it is, it wasn't till I closed the end cover that I could put my nail-varnished finger on what was niggling me all the way through.

This book simply won’t make Oprah’s book club for women. And you know why? It’s obvious. Women spend so much of their lives saying that word, 'Yes', in place of the one they'd rather use, but don't. Yes to a family Christmas with relatives they can't abide; Yes to lower pay than male counterparts; Yes to the myth of thin equalling happiness; Yes, Yes, Yes is how it goes.

How about a female version of this book? Surely it would have to be the ‘No Woman: The Amazing Tale Of What Happens When You Decide To Say…NO’. Now that would be a great read, don’t you think?

Sunday Christening, Children Galore

My youngest daughter, Meredith [2] is getting christened this weekend. Family will arrive from far flung places to celebrate her special day. You’d think I’d be thrilled at the prospect yet on top of a busy working week it feels all too much. I started preparations weeks back with long lists of things to do to make the day run smoothly. All to make sure my sanity stays intact.

From invitations through to the day itself – booking the vicar, organising clothes, having the house ready for lots of guests - I’d forgotten the effort this takes. At least I’m not preparing the food. In a stroke of genius I have one thing right. Not only is Meredith’s godfather, Jon Burr, a wonderful man praise the Lord he also has a rare talent for creating scrumptious healthy food. I recommend choosing godparents with specific talents!

Now all I need is for someone to remind me why the hell I thought bringing everyone together would be ‘fun’. Actually now that I’m questioning this, I have the answer. All seven of our children will be home and for that I can hardly wait. When they are all at home I feel like the luckiest Ma Walton in the world.