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Danusia, are you suggesting that she adopt a selfish approach?

You say, "Refuse to take the blame for where he is in life." I agree with that statement in general but I wonder if she possibly acted in bad faith and entered into an agreement that she had no intention to live up to. If that is the case, then I think your advice does not apply.

It is one thing to promote empowerment and it is quite another to promote selfishness and disrespect. His words are harsh and he is obviously not in a happy place, but most people tend to react poorly when others take advantage of them.

You say, "The circumstances are different." Why? Is it because she is unwilling to make the same sacrifices he made, or is it that she needs more time? If the former, then she is out of line. If the latter, then she must negotiate.

I'm not sure there is enough information to form a clear opinion either way. Nevertheless, inequity in relationships always spells trouble in my experience.

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